fix(player): the player's own focus grabs leave a tabbed-to control alone

Turning ready, the pointer leaving the video, the window regaining focus, a wheel over it and
leaving fullscreen each put the focus back on the card unconditionally, so a viewer who had
tabbed to a control right after opening started over from the first button on the next Tab.
They now take it back only when it sits in the iframe or off the card.

frontend/src/lib/playerModalHooks.progress.dom.test.tsx

@@ -81,7 +81,7 @@ function mountPlayer(qc: QueryClient, sessionPos: Map<string, number>) {
       setPlayerError: () => {},
       setLiveData: () => {},
       reapplyStored: () => {},
-      focusModal: () => {},
+      reclaimFocus: () => {},
       advanceOnEnd: () => {},
       sessionPosRef: { current: sessionPos },
       qc,