fix: address the feature review — accurate copy, reachable controls, real coverage

Round 1 on the feature diff found 15; the substantive ones:

- The delete control VANISHED on any invite whose address had registered, which
  is the ordinary sign-up shape (register writes the User and the pending invite
  together). The guard stays broad — that row is the account's approval gate, and
  orphaning it strands someone who can then neither sign in nor be approved — but
  the control is now a disabled button carrying the reason, on both lists, so an
  admin never sees a row silently missing a button its neighbours have.
- Deleting an entry is not always a revoke: is_allowed falls back to the env
  ALLOWED_EMAILS / ADMIN_EMAILS lists once no row exists, and an ADMIN_EMAILS
  address is force-promoted on its next Google sign-in. The route now reports
  still_allowed_by_env and the UI says so instead of claiming access was removed.
- "Deny keeps the row so they can't immediately re-ask" was simply false —
  upsert_pending_invite reopens a denied row. Corrected everywhere it was stated.
- The Configuration warning reads me.email_configured, which save() did not
  invalidate, so it kept warning about fields the admin had just filled in.
- The read-only variant was an aria-hidden span explained only by a Tooltip that
  the hints toggle can switch off; now a disabled button with title + aria-label.
- The delete error path threw away the 409's reason (the stale-list case) and
  left the stale row on screen.
- The throttle window was spent even when no notice was written, silencing the
  next hour on the path whose job is to stop silent drops.
- email_enabled() opened a second session and decrypted the SMTP password on
  every /api/me poll; it now takes the caller's session.
- welcomeMode.dom.test.ts never rendered the card, so reverting the history
  wiring to useState left it green. A render test now drives the real links and
  fails on that revert (verified).

Plus /api/me flag tests, the registration-shaped pending case, the env-allowlist
case, and a release note that matches what the code does.

backend/app/routes/me.py

@@ -108,7 +108,7 @@ def get_me(
             db.scalar(select(func.count()).select_from(Invite).where(Invite.status == "pending"))
             or 0
         )
-        email_configured = email_mod.email_enabled()
+        email_configured = email_mod.email_enabled(db)  # this request's session; no second connect
     return {
         "authenticated": True,
         "id": user.id,